The Lost Art of Facilitating a Discussion
How do you get your point across to a teenager? Whether it is in a group, a family meeting or a one-on-one conversation, we often face the problem of getting teenagers to understand our point of view.
Most teens, including my own, think they have all of the answers by the time they are fifteen. Teens do not want to admit it, but they need our help to understand this crazy world we live in. In a very real sense you are their guide. Here are a couple of ideas to help you.
Don’t lecture – facilitate! Let’s say you are trying to get your teenager to take more responsibility for their homework. You have given the standard homework lecture several times and that has not worked. Why not try something different? Ask thought-provoking questions to get your teenager thinking and talking about the issue.
Ask questions that minimize the “yes” and “no” answers from your teenager. Use more open-ended discussions stimulation questions. For example: If you were the parent how would you get your child to do their homework on time? Is there someone who can help you in that subject?
Your goal is to have your teenager respond positively to your message. In this case it was doing their homework on time, but you can use the same approach for other topics that teenagers are dealing with. For example: smoking, driving the car, getting a job, etc.
Your responsibility is to listen and direct the conversation in a positive direction. Below are some other ideas to help you.
- Be a tour guide in the discussion – don’t dominate it
- Keep the discussion centered on the topic
- Promote friendly discussion
- Ask open ended questions
- Guard against your biases
- Debrief your teenager after the discussion
- Praise and congratulate them
“Those who bring sunshine to others cannot keep it from themselves.”
Sir James Barrie, Scottish playwright and novelist
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